Tag: History

Life, Satire

Mississippi Flag

Posted on by Desmond White

The Confederate flag is a symbol of racist traitor losers who killed U.S. citizens to preserve the institution of slavery and the hierarchy of the white race over the black race.

Unfortunately, many people still attempt to preserve the cultural memory of the Confederacy⁠— its secession, racism, and slavery⁠—under the guise of heritage and regional pride.

This pride persists in a state flag.

Mississippi’s red, white, and blue:

On June 10th, 2020, NASCAR finally banned the Confederate flag from its events. But this led to an interesting question.

What will NASCAR do when races are held in Mississippi?

I thought it only appropriate to not put the onus on NASCAR, but the state of Mississippi, to cut ties with the Confederacy altogether.

After a quick google search, I found many, many redesigns:

I also found this not-so-great replacement:

I decided to take the problem on myself. For all my politically conscious years, I have sought to eradicate eulogies to evil. I also care about our nation’s cultural health.

While brainstorming a new flag, I realized I needed to find something else for southerners, in this case Mississippi, to be proud about. A substitution. Pride for pride.

I found an article on Mississippi’s many contributions, including Pine Sol, soft toilet seats, and Stetson cowboy hats.

(Also, Barq’s Root Beer, the world’s largest shrimp, and selling shoes in a box by pair.)

Satisfied these were contributions to be proud of, I sketched something and commissioned an artist friend to realize the concept.

My artist asked to remain anonymous. I don’t see why. This was the result:

IMG_0306

You’re welcome, Mississippi. I hope to see this on belt buckles, tee shirts, and race cars soon.

Writing Process

Carl Sagan on Books

Posted on by Desmond White
François Boucher. Madame de Pompadour. 1756, oil on canvas, Alte Pinakothek, Munich.

Literacy is one of the great tools of civilization. Etymology is one aspect of this tool. Your ability to read my writing—another. The moral imagination invoked is a third. Unfortunately, writing is a recent invention—we’re still getting used to it. As Sagan notes in The Demon-Haunted World (335):

For 99 percent of the tenure of humans on earth, nobody could read or write. The great invention had not yet been made. Except for firsthand experience, almost everything we knew was passed on by word of mouth. As in the children’s game “Telephone,” over tens and hundreds of generations, information would slowly be distorted and lost.

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Writing

The first five Roman emperors (the Julio-Claudian Dynasty) and their last words

Posted on by Desmond White

Fact. Fiction. The following may be apocryphal, may be accurate. When it comes to the Romans, we have to trust the ancient writers, or ignore them. My source is Gaius Suetonius, a Roman knight and historian who lived in the first and second century.

1. Augustus. Aged 75. Last words to his friends from his sick-bed: “Since well I’ve played my part, all clap your hands, and from the stage dismiss me with applause.” And to his wife, Livia: “Live mindful of our wedlock, Livia, and farewell.” Finally, at the very moment preceding death, he shouted in terror that forty men were carrying him off, then breathed his last (Suetonius, “Life of Augustus,” 99).

2. Tiberius. 78, violently ill, called for attendants to no response, got up, fell over, and died near the couch. No last words, but the people’s eulogy was: “Tiberius to the Tiber!” in hopes of his body being tossed, as was custom to do to criminals, into the river Tiber (Suetonius, “Life of Tiberius,” 73-75). 

3. Caligula. Assassinated at 29 in a manner similar to Julius Caesar: “I am still alive.” His enemies responded: “Strike again!” The historian takes note that their sword thrusts included his genitals (Suetonius, “Life of Caligula,” 58).

4. Claudius. 63. Poisoned by wife or eunuch, likely by mushrooms (a favorite dish). After swallowing the poison he became speechless, which was probably for the best, as he was known for his stutter (Suetonius, “Life of Claudius,” 44). According to Seneca’s Apocolocyntosis (good satire, go read it), after shitting himself, he whimpered: “Oh dear, oh dear, I think I have made a mess of myself” (3). 

5. Nero. 32. In the face of rebellion, abandoned by allies and his guard, just delivered a false report that he’d been declared public enemy by the Senate, and hearing the sound of horse-steps, Nero wept and said again and again: “What an artist the world is losing!” Finally he drove a dagger into his throat, after shouting, “Hark, now strikes on my ear the trampling of swift-footed coursers!” As centurions rushed in, Nero gasped, “Too late!” and expired (Suetonius, “Life of Nero,” 49).

References

C. Suetonius Transquillus, The Lives of the Twelve Caesars. Loeb Classical Library (1913). University of Chicago Site, 19 Feb. 2017. 

Seneca, Apocolocyntosis. W. H. D. Rouse, trans. Perseus, 19 Feb. 2017.